How to Combat Those Nervous Jitters in Public Speaking

Posted on February 22, 2012 by The Voice Lady

While public speaking may seem like a war in which you are doing battle, it really isn’t. In truth, it is not that different from standing at your desk among a group of people and explaining to them how you successfully won a long sought-after account. It is not unlike sharing a story about a recent experience you had. And, it is certainly not unlike telling a joke to a group of friends at the water cooler.

Instead of trying to battle your nervousness, my advice is to put your nervousness to good use. That spurt of adrenaline is part of dynamic public speaking. Everyone who is good in this venue is nervous. If you think they are not, then you are sadly mistaken. Nervousness is a blessing. Instead of fighting it, allow it to work for you because that rush of adrenaline is very beneficial for your delivery, making you more alert and more focused.

While you admittedly may not be confident telling a joke while public speaking, a dynamic delivery includes anecdotes and the relaying of personal experiences that either you or someone else have had pertinent to your subject matter.

In addition, all three of the above scenarios are things that can happen in your living room amongst a group of friends. My advice for taking control of your nervousness is to look at public speaking in that light. Apply the same techniques you use in the informal situation to your delivery in front of a formal audience. The 5 suggestions below are all part of your success in the informal. Your job now is to apply them to the formal:

  • you know your material;
  • you make eyes contact with your audience;
  • you speak with color, with life and with emotion;
  • you supplement your air supply before you run out of air. (Learn to breathe with the support of your diaphragm and your rewards will be even greater!)
  • you believe in yourself.

Don’t take pills for your nervousness or try in any way to eliminate it. You will be amazed at the difference in your delivery if you can take your nervous jitters and put them to work for you. Public speaking is a not a war nor is it a battle. It is a wonderful opportunity for you to share your message to those who are in attendance who want to learn and hear from you just like those at the water cooler, around a desk, or in your living room.

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Speaking Too Softly Does Not Speak Well of You

Posted on February 20, 2012 by The Voice Lady

Recently I held a 2-Day Voice & Presentation Skills Workshop in which one of the attendees, named Mohammad, was quite soft-spoken. He came to the seminar not just to work on his presentation skills, but more specifically to learn how to speak in a normal volume of sound. Notice I said normal.

Nothing is more frustrating for your listeners than not hearing your words. If you are soft-spoken, then not only are your listeners not hearing you but they are also pre-judging you. The purpose of speaking is to communicate. If you are not being heard, then essentially you are not communicating. When that happens, you frustrate those trying to hear what you are saying.

What is interesting is that your soft-spoken voice is not normal. What this means is that you are not part of the median group when it comes to your volume. Your volume is falling somewhere below the median – somewhere below average.

The problem for those of us who strain to hear your message is that we tire of straining to hear you – we tire of asking you to repeat yourself. If that happens often enough, those of us with larger voices will take over the conversation. And, being constantly interrupted or talked over is not good for your self-esteem.

What it says to your listeners, however, is definitely not positive. When we think of those whose spoken words are valuable, it is only because we have physically heard those words. If the words are not heard, then we cannot consider the message valuable.

If you want others to take you seriously or to place value in the words you are speaking, then it is up to you to learn how to speak within a normal volume of sound so that you are heard the 1st time you say it. With good voice training, you will find your volume increase automatically once you learn how to power your voice the correct way. Presently you are relying on your throat and voice box – with a lot more emphasis on your voice box – as your primary amplifiers of voiced sound. Change your power source and you will be amazed at the difference.

What happened to Mohammad at that 2-Day Workshop I mentioned earlier? He made a change – literally overnight. Now when he speaks, others sit up and take notice. By no means does Mohammad speak loudly – just within a normal volume range.

Make the change with your voice and watch the reaction of your listeners when they hear you the 1st time you say it.

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A Simple Exercise for Overcoming a Monotone Voice

Posted on February 13, 2012 by The Voice Lady

You can do it. You can end a vocal delivery that is flat, insipid, and lackluster. But first you will have to give yourself permission to do so.

This does seem like a strange suggestion, doesn’t it? If you speak in a monotone, however, you probably keep your emotions bottled up inside of you which is why you must permit yourself to let your emotions be seen, be felt and be heard. While you may not like this suggestion, nothing will change until that permission is granted.

Often those who speak in a monotone show no expression on their face or in their body language. It is important to understand (and when you practice the exercise below) that your face is as saying something as well as the posture and the movement of your body. Using your hands when talking is something most people do in normal conversation. And, you can do it too with practice.

A simple but effective exercise to begin expressing emotion is to stand in front of a mirror and say the words I can do this as if you were:

  • really excited. (Not just excited by really, really excited). Smile when you say it and nod your head up and down. Lift your hands up in the air. Remember, you are really excited.
  • asking a question. Say this as if you don’t think you can do it so furrow your brow and lift the pitch of your voice on the words do this. Remember it is a question. Shake your head back and forth as you say it.

Now say those words again without any expression. Did you notice a difference? If you didn’t, then you need to practice. Do this exercise over and over until it starts to become comfortable. Record your voice while you’re doing it. Listening to the playback will tell you whether it is working or not.

Notice when you look in the mirror, saying these words, that you look and sound normal. Your fear in the beginning may be that you look unnatural when speaking with emotion. But if you are honest with yourself, you will indeed realize that speaking with expression is much more natural and normal than speaking without any life, any color, or any emotion.

Your listeners deserve to hear and see expression from you when you talk, whether it is in conversation, for the sales presentation, or when addressing an audience from the stage. Without an expressive delivery, a well-crafted speech or presentation is not nearly as effective as one that sparkles with color. In other words, without expression, a speech given in a monotone voice is boring.

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I Can’t Believe He Said the ‘D’ Word!

Posted on February 12, 2012 by The Voice Lady

I Can’t Believe He Used the D-Word!

Recently I had the opportunity to hear an international speaker address a large group of women. The women’s ages ranged from their 20’s to their 60’s. While the speaker used the F-word once, the silence in the large ballroom was much more apparent when he then used a 4-letter word that begins with ‘d’ and ends with a ‘k.’ He was not referring to a duck!

The use of swear words when addressing an audience is not in good taste and is offensive. In case you were unaware of this little tidbit, the 4-letter word that begins with a ‘d’ may be considered slang but, according to the dictionary, it is a vulgar term. Vulgar language is “lacking in cultivation, perception, or taste.” It is also coarse and morally crude.

I can appreciate that there is a generation of young people who may not be offended with ‘colorful’ language; however, if you are addressing an audience of mixed ages, it is to your benefit to avoid certain words that the majority of people still consider indecent. This is why knowing your audience in advance is paramount to your success.

Back in April of 2009, a 5-4 decision by the Supreme Court, “upheld the government’s crackdown on ‘fleeting expletives’ and said broadcasters could face heavy fines for airing the F-word or the S-word even once during prime time.” They considered this ruling to “offer families a ‘safe haven’ from foul language.”

How do you know which words are acceptable and which are not? If you are addressing a mixed or all-female audience, or if you have been invited to speak to a business, corporation, non-profit organization, or a place of worship, the following rule should apply.

  • If it cannot be printed in a national newspaper; i.e. The New York Times, then do not use it in public speaking.

Another way to look at this situation is to consider the following:

  • If it is a word that you would not use in front of your mother, then it is unacceptable.

[If your parents are ‘baby-boomers,’ then it is possible that you do speak in vulgar terms in front of them. If such is the case, stick to the above rule dealing with a national newspaper.]

Remember, no one will be offended if you do not swear; however, some will be offended if you do. Public speaking is a tough business and becoming successful at it is difficult. Don’t jeopardize your success because of vulgar or indecent language.

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The Human Voice Is a Priceless Treasure and Should Be Kept in Your Chest!

Posted on February 9, 2012 by The Voice Lady

What a wonderful play on words. The title is a slogan suggestion which I received today from Dutch. Dutch is a client who sends me ‘goodies’ here and there. And this ‘goodie’ sums up the entire foundation of my training.

Interesting that Dutch sent me this email today because during the past week, I have been thinking a lot about hockey, marveling at the ability of these players to skate, shoot, and ‘fight’ on ice. I watched a particularly frustrating game last Saturday afternoon in which there were several fights, and I was once again brought back to the incredible agility of these athletes to be able to keep their balance throughout.

Of course, thinking about hockey in this manner made me think of something that was said to me early in my career. Someone had once commented that my voice training sounded like the icing on the cake. My response was that the voice was the cake and that everything else was the icing, further explaining that the priority in learning how to play hockey is to first learn how to skate. Without excellent skating ability, it really doesn’t matter how great you are at shooting a puck into a net.

I liken that to the speaking voice. You may have a great deal of color and emotion when you speak and you may have wonderful delivery skills in public speaking, but if your voice is high-pitched, nasal, throaty, young-sounding, old-sounding, weak, wimpy, harsh, shrill, too soft, too loud, too fast, or too slow, then you are offering great icing but a lousy cake.

A voice that is powered by means of your chest cavity can do wonders for a mediocre speech; a great speech, on the other hand, can do nothing for a voice that exhibits any of the above traits.

Yes, the speaking voice is a treasure. And, when you learn how to use your chest to power your sound, you will discover how priceless it really is.

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How Voice Training Can Improve Your Life As Well As Your Voice

Posted on February 1, 2012 by The Voice Lady

When I first started my business, I had no idea the number of benefits that would result just by finding your ‘real’ voice. In fact, I never tire of hearing each and every new experience my clients tell me about.

How can this type of training improve your life? For one very basic and fundamental reason: if you want to discover your ‘real’ voice – which is the one you would power by means of your chest cavity instead of your throat – you must learn to breathe with the support of your diaphragm. It is this breathing that makes all the difference.

Breathing with the support of your diaphragm, something 99% of the population is not doing, eliminates the nasty toxins in your blood which helps eliminate stress, placing the body in a more relaxed state. This is why yoga and meditation are so popular today. People need to decrease their level of stress in order to function.

Shallow or lazy breathing, on the other hand, has the reverse effect. It increases your stress because you are using only the upper part of your chest cavity to breathe which means you are not eliminating the toxins in your blood. If I ask were to ask you to take a deep breath, the chances are likely that you would suck in your mid-torso region, lift up your shoulders, and throw out your chest. That physical process, alone, tends to increase our stress because we have a tendency to tighten the throat, neck muscles, and jaw in trying to accomplish the task. This is one of the reasons so many women find they have shoulders that ache or tension in their neck and jaw areas by the end of the day. Blame it on shallow breathing.

Those who support their breath properly are able to alleviate their stress easier which can result in better sleep, lower blood pressure, fewer physical ailments, a longer life span and a more relaxed state even when under pressure. And, there is no doubt that diaphragmatic breathing is the best means of controlling your nervousness in any form of public speaking.

While most voice coaches work on the voice you already have, there are a few of us who will teach you how to find the voice you don’t know you have. This is a sound that begins in your chest cavity and is only possible to achieve if you are breathing with support. In that sense, your chest – the largest of your 5 resonators – becomes your primary sounding board.

Imagine discovering your ‘real’ voice and adding 4-1/2 years to your life to boot! It is truly amazing what voice training can do for you, both professionally and personally.

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How to Connect with Your Audience in Public Speaking

Posted on January 26, 2012 by The Voice Lady

One of the secrets of dynamic presentation skills is the ability to connect with your audience. In that sense, the idea is to make each person think you are talking directly to him/her. How is this possible if you have an audience of 50, 150 or 500 people? There are several things you can do to achieve the connection.

1. Make eye contact with your listeners. Admittedly, you cannot make direct eye contact with every single individual; however, if you take your time and scan the room from one side to the other as you speak, everyone will think you are directing your presentation just to them. [By the way, target your smilers. Every audience has them and they bolster your confidence.]

2. Ask questions relevant to your topic that will have an effect on your listeners. As an example, when I begin my presentation, I ask my audience if they have heard themselves on some form of recording equipment. Almost everyone raises their hand. I then ask them if they like what they hear on the recording. For the 2nd question, most people do not raise their hand. Because I have just hit a nerve, what I have achieved with those two questions is a connection between them and me.

3. Use anecdotes throughout your delivery that your audience can relate to. During my presentation on breathing with the support of the diaphragm, for example, I talk about the many and varied benefits my clients have gained by learning to breathe with this support. I also show a video of a newborn baby who is noticeably taking his air all way down to his diaphragm as he breathes.

4. Smile. Speakers who look happy to be addressing an audience are a lot more believable than those who look like they are dying a thousand deaths!

5. Be yourself. A true connection can only be achieved if you are yourself, first and foremost. Your audience did not come to hear someone else speak, they came to hear you.

6. Treat your audience as if you were having a conversation with them in your living room. The intimacy you can achieve by speaking in this manner locks in the connection and is much more effective than spitting out a pile of words with the desire to get it over with as quickly as possible. Your audience will feel like they know you better if you can make use of this advice.

Whatever your goal in public speaking, you must first sell yourself which can only happen when you make the connection with those in your audience.

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Do You Know the Difference Between the Informative and the Persuasive Presentation?

Posted on January 24, 2012 by The Voice Lady

Whatever your reason for standing in front of an audience, it is important to identify your objective before you even outline your material. What is your primary goal? Are you being requested by your boss to give a report on your latest sales presentation? Are you taking a course in public speaking and it is your turn to deliver a speech? Maybe you are interested in pursuing public speaking as a career.

Some professional speakers will tell you that there are 4 reasons for public speaking: to inform, to persuade, to inspire, or to entertain. On the other hand, most college texts on public speaking will tell you there are only 3 reasons. They do not include speaking to inspire because that category will fall into either the informative or the persuasive category. [Public speaking as a means to entertain is not covered in this article because it is a topic unto itself.]

With the informative presentation, you may be teaching your audience about something, you may be talking about a death-defying experience, or you could be describing your business to your leads group. Whatever your subject is, your primary goal with the informative is to deliver a speech or presentation that is descriptive. Your objective is not to sell anything or persuade anyone, it is merely to teach or inform.

The informative presentation can have a number of main points, although most books will suggest that you should limit your main points to 5. (Tell that one to Stephen Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People!)

With the persuasive presentation, on the other hand, your reason for speaking is to persuade your audience to agree with you. While this category may deal with an idea, a theory, or a product, your objective is to have your audience understand and agree with your point of view. You could be a lawyer giving the closing statement for your client. You could be a politician running for office. You might be an insurance broker explaining the value of life insurance. Or, possibly, you are a motivational speaker with an inspirational message.

In a nutshell, the persuasive presentation has the objective of selling something. As a persuasive speaker, you want your audience to agree with because you need their support. You may be trying to convince your audience of global warming or trying to explain to them that global warming does not exist.

Whereas the informative presentation can have a number of main points, the persuasive will only have two. The first point should deal with the problem that needs to be resolved, answered, or changed. The second will be what you believe is the answer to the problem.

Whatever your motivation with the persuasive presentation, it is of utmost importance that you are convincing. Your success will be determined by how effectively you can sway your audience to see the story your way. In addition, you may have books, CDs, workshops, or other product at the back of the room that you intend to sell.

You will be much more successful in public speaking if you know your objective and accomplish your goals the next time you stand in front of an audience.

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Sex and the Speaking Voice

Posted on January 21, 2012 by The Voice Lady

What do James Earl Jones, Mira Sorvino, George Clooney, Elizabeth Hurley, Sean Connery and Kathleen Turner all have in common? Voices that exude sensuality – in today’s vocabulary, voices that are hot. There are a few more names I could have added to the list but there are actually many more that do not fall into that category. Of course the one voice that was probably the sexiest of all was that of the late great Barry White. In his case it didn’t matter whether he was singing or speaking: both exuded the ultimate in sensuality.

All of these wonderfully rich voices share one common characteristic. They are warm – like a blanket around your shoulders. Given the right time and place and with the right tonality, any voice that is warm can be sexy.

The problem for many people is that they don’t have the warmth in their speaking voice because they don’t know how to place the voice properly. They are using only the voice box, throat, mouth and/or nose to power their sound which results in voices that tend to be higher in pitch than they should be. Pitch refers to the highness or lowness of sound, not the loudness or softness.

Looking again at that list, you will notice that all of those voices are low in pitch as well. In truth a low-pitched speaking voice is the most sensual of all. The great German actress Marlene Dietrich was renowned not only for her legs but her deep gravelly voice as well.

As a voice coach, I’ve had my business on the web for more than ten years and I am surprised that one of my target markets is single men looking to attract women. In researching my name a few years ago, I happened upon a blog about me and my business on an all-male website. When I clicked on the link, I was delighted to discover some men discussing my techniques for voice improvement and how effective those techniques are for attracting women.

These men understood that a rich, warm, resonant voice is a huge bonus when it comes to meeting women.

What I don’t understand, however, is why women haven’t figured this out as well. Many women are so obsessed with their physical image and yet they have failed to recognize that a warm sensual voice can be as attractive to a man as a beautiful body.

In an interview with Barbara Walters many years ago, Kathleen Turner remarked that she couldn’t understand why a woman would spend so much money on her wardrobe, her hair and her makeup and then speak in a voice that was akin to nails on a blackboard. She further added that “the power of the voice is exciting as heck!”

I couldn’t agree more. The voice that is warm speaks volumes because it sounds more mature; it draws your attention; and, given the right tone, it can be very, very sexy.

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Good Diction Could Be the Deciding Factor in Who Gets the Job, the Promotion, or the Contract

Posted on January 19, 2012 by The Voice Lady

Today, good diction is on the decline. We are a nation of people who mumble, speak too quickly, or are generally too lazy to make the effort to speak clearly. In addition, we are the world’s largest melting pot with millions of people whose accent may be difficult to understand.

    If you expect to prosper in your professional life, you will be much more successful if you speak distinctly.

Assume that a prospective employer must decide between Candidate A whose diction is clear and concise and Candidate B whose diction is unclear. If the person doing the hiring constantly asks candidate B to repeat himself/herself, who do you think will get the job?

Communication in every business is paramount for the success of that business. Employers are not interested in those whose communication skills are lacking because it is unproductive and a waste of time and money.

The other day I spoke with a man from North Jersey. He talked so fast that I couldn’t keep up with him and I am a professional listener! In addition, because of his speed, he made a lot of mistakes and was constantly correcting himself. What did this man gain by speaking at 100 mph? Nothing. He wasted an inordinate amount of time, repeating himself and correcting himself. Had he spoken at a more moderate speed, we could have had a 10-minute conversation instead of one that lasted 20!

If you mumble, talk too fast (or too slow), or need some work in accent reduction, start today by recording yourself and analyzing the playback. (Record yourself in conversation, not from reading material.) Only when you can hear what you are doing or not doing, will you recognize why others may have difficulty understanding you. While I am an advocate of accents, anything which interferes with your diction should be worked on. Keep your accent – just clean it up.

Below are two ways in which you can improve your diction.

    1. Practice with an audio book recording, trying to imitate the speech of the reader.

    2. Take a course in voice training in which you learn to breathe with the support of your diaphragm.

Just two of the benefits of this type of training are that you will be able to control your speed and you will speak more distinctly.

Competition for employment today is fierce; and, the ability to be understood the first time you say it, could possibly land you the job you are seeking or the promotion you desire. Don’t let your lack of clarity in speaking be the deciding factor in who gets the job or wins the contract.

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